


Some Place to Go

by Lauralot



Series: Alexander Pierce should have died slower [13]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bed-Wetting, Diapers, Gen, Non-Sexual Age Play, Storytelling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-15
Updated: 2015-04-15
Packaged: 2018-03-23 03:23:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3752647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lauralot/pseuds/Lauralot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce promised he was going to read to Bucky.</p><p>Bucky isn't about to let anything, even Avengers' missions, get in the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Some Place to Go

**Author's Note:**

> This story was inspired by suggestions from [bofurrific](http://archiveofourown.org/users/bofurrific/pseuds/bofurrific), [WhatEvenAmI](http://archiveofourown.org/users/WhatEvenAmI/pseuds/WhatEvenAmI), and WritingCyan.

**“Reading gives us some place to go when we have to stay where we are.”**

—Mason Cooley

  


Bucky can’t keep the little annoyed huff from slipping out when Tasha slides her fingers through his hair.

“Shush,” Tasha says, but there’s no swat at his shoulders or the back of his head. Her fingers just keep combing through the lock of hair she’s holding, splitting it up into three parts.

“That’s right.” Pepper’s voice. Pepper is sitting beside Tasha on the couch, and Bucky is sitting down on the floor in front of them. “Now, take one of the outside strands—it can be either the left or the right—and cross it over so that it’s in the middle, okay?”

Tasha asked Pepper to teach her how to braid, and then Pepper asked Bucky if they could use his hair. Bucky asked why they couldn’t braid Pepper’s hair, but Pepper said then she wouldn’t be able to see if Tasha was doing it right. Then he asked why they couldn’t use a doll, but Tasha said she didn’t have any dolls.

Bucky thinks she needs dolls. A lot of dolls. He squeezes Bucky Bear and doesn’t make another whining sound, even though he really wants to.

There’s a soft little tug on his hair, and then Pepper speaks again. “Good. Now you want to take the strand on the opposite side of the one you just crossed, and move that to the middle.”

“Hey, Bucky.”

He lifts up his head, but not high enough to disturb Tasha’s braiding. Bruce is standing there, smiling down at him. “It’s good to see you,” Bruce says. “Are Pepper and Tasha styling your hair for you?”

Bucky makes a sound because if he uses words, he doesn’t trust himself not to complain.

Bruce’s smile changes like something’s funny, but it doesn’t feel as if he’s laughing at Bucky. And when he says, “You’re being really patient,” it almost sounds like he’s saying ‘I’m sorry.’ Bruce glances around the playroom. “Want a coloring book?”

“Uh-uh.” Bucky would like to color, but then he’d have to move his head to look down at the page and to pick up crayons. He’d mess things up and, much as he doesn’t like having his hair played with, he doesn’t want to spoil Tasha’s fun either.

“I could read you a story,” Bruce offers, and Bucky smiles. Bruce is really good at telling stories. He might be the second best at it of everybody in the tower, right after Daddy. Daddy’s the best in the tower at probably everything, except having long hair. But with stories, Bruce is almost just as good, and his voice is nice to listen to.

“’Kay.”

“What story would you like?”

He considers it. It used to be that Bucky would ask for Sleeping Beauty every time, but ever since Sam gave him the recording of Daddy reading it at Christmas, it seems strange to have anyone else tell it now. It’s a special thing between them. But there are lots of other stories. Puss and Boots and The Princess on the Glass Hill and The Wolf and the Seven Young Kids and a whole bunch more. He toys with the laces of his shoes, thinking. “Uh, Beauty and the—”

The Avengers’ alarm goes off.

It’s not a loud, harsh alarm, not like when Tony sets off the smoke detectors, or like security systems that got tripped on HYDRA missions. It’s loud enough to get attention, but it’s a nice sound, sort of like chimes. Missions are stressful enough, everyone says, and the alarm that calls them to assemble is pleasant so it won’t add to the pressure.

Bucky still hates it.

Just like that, Natasha’s hands are off his hair and she’s excusing herself as she gets up from the couch.

“I’ll read to you when we get back, Bucky,” Bruce says. “Anything you want.”

“But—” He wants to protest. Every time his friends leave, he wants to come with them. It’s not the mission; Bucky Bear always begs to help out, but Bucky hates fighting when he’s a kid and worries that he’d slip back into being a kid when he’s an adult. He just hates being away from Daddy and everyone else, hates not knowing where they are and if they’re okay.

But he knows it makes Daddy sad when Bucky pleads to come along, so he shuts up.

“I promise,” Bruce says.

“We’ll call when we can,” Natasha adds, already at the door. “Don’t worry, Bucky, you’ll have fun with Pepper.”

Bucky nods. They leave the room and then Pepper’s gently stroking his hair, combing out the start of the braid with her fingers. “They’ll come back to say goodbye before they go.”

“I know.” They always do. He hugs on so tight to Daddy every time, but it never changes anything.

“If you want,” Pepper says, “I can read to you.”

This time, he shakes his head. It’s not that Pepper isn’t good at telling stories—unless she has meetings, she always reads to him every night the Avengers are gone—but hearing one now would just remind him that Bruce isn’t here to tell it.

“Okay.” She pats the couch cushion where Tasha was sitting, and Bucky gets up onto it. “Do you want to play with your bears?”

Bucky Bear would like that, so Bucky nods. “Not ‘til they’re gone, though.” The bears get impatient whenever their own adventures get put on hold while Bucky talks to grown-ups.

Pepper nods, handing Bucky the remote. He turns on the TV and spends half an hour sort of watching an episode of _Modern Family_ , which is funny even when he doesn’t get all the jokes, and which is something he knows grown-ups like watching too. Then there’s a knock on the door frame and he turns to find Daddy there. He’s not in uniform yet. He’ll put that on in the plane.

Bucky rushes over to him, hugging as tight as he can without hurting. Bucky Bear is still in his hand and he pushes the bear against Daddy’s back, burying his own head against Daddy’s shoulder. He clings to him, breathing in the scent of his shampoo, feeling the texture of Daddy’s shirt under his fingers. He worries every time that this is the last time he’ll ever see Daddy. He can’t help worrying. The first mission that Daddy went on without Bucky there ended with Daddy frozen in ice.

“Hey, Buck.” Daddy’s voice is calm, but he’s hugging just as hard. “It’s okay. It’s only for a couple of days.”

“I know,” Bucky mumbles, his face still resting on Daddy’s shoulder.

“Pepper will take care of you,” he says, rubbing his hand on Bucky’s back. “And you’ll take care of her. She’ll be missing Tony.”

“I know.”

“And Bucky Bear will help JARVIS hold down the fort here, right?”

Bucky raises his head. He doesn’t sniffle. “Right.”

Daddy kisses his forehead. “We’ll check in whenever we can, okay?”

A nod. “Be safe.”

“I will,” Daddy promises, but all Bucky can think of is an alley a lifetime ago and a bully he’d pulled off of Daddy. He used to do that a lot, because Daddy always insisted on getting in over his head. There was a time he was big enough to put a stop to that. Now even when he’s grown-up, he’s no help at all.

*

“Tasha and Bruce will keep Tony and your daddy in line,” Pepper says.

Bucky’s only half-listening, trying to distract himself with the bears. “Uh-huh.”

They’re in the penthouse. Pepper is doing work stuff on computer screens that JARVIS pulled up in the air, and Bucky’s playing with his Bearvengers. Later they’re going to make lunch together, and then they’re going to take Clint’s dog Lucky on a walk. Pepper is going to hold the leash because the last time Bucky Bear got too close to Lucky, Lucky carried Bucky Bear around the tower in his mouth. Bucky Bear hadn’t been happy. Bucky likes Lucky when he’s not kidnapping bears, though. He’s soft and golden and he’s missing one eye.

Bucky is kneeling on the floor by the couch where Pepper’s sitting. Bucky Bear is in the corner of the room, observing.

“They can be stubborn,” Pepper adds, “even reckless, but they’ll be fine. They always are.”

Bucky places Iron Bear and Bear Widow on the coffee table, which is now a car. He begins making engine noises as he imagines the wheels spinning.

Pepper looks away from the computer. “Is Tasha letting Tony drive? I don’t know if she’d do that.”

“She’s Maria right now.” Tasha let Tony drive them to the toy store where she got Red Panda, but Bucky doesn’t want to correct Pepper when she’s probably worried about her boyfriend.

“Maria definitely wouldn’t let Tony drive.” And Bucky doesn’t correct that either, because right afterward Pepper asks, “Would you like an Agent Hill bear?”

Bucky considers it. He doesn’t have very many girl bears at all. And Maria Hill kept him out of prison and let Bucky Bear go to the courthouse in her purse, even if she did say a lot of stuff during the trial that he didn’t want anybody to know. “Yeah.”

“I’ll let Tony know when he gets back.”

“Can I have a Pepper bear too?”

Pepper smiles so much that she gets down onto the floor to hug Bucky. He worries that he’s disrupting her work, but she says she can take care of that later. It’s a while before the hugging stops and the bears can continue their drive.

*

“Hey, Bucky.” Sam sounds very calm over the phone, not winded or tired at all. Bucky can’t pick up any sounds like fighting or destruction in the background, and Bucky has very good hearing. He doesn’t know if that means everything’s okay, though, or if the Avengers are just smart enough not to let him hear when they’re in danger.

“Hi,” says Bucky. He’s in the kitchen with Pepper, and the heat from the skillet on the stove makes his hair a little bit wavy. “Is everybody okay?”

“We’re fine.” Sam’s voice has a way of making it sound like everything’s fine always. Bucky wonders if that’s a thing counselors study to get good at, or if Sam became a counselor because he was already like that. “We made it.”

Bucky doesn’t know where they made it to. The Avengers never let him know where they’re going, and JARVIS doesn’t let him watch the news when they have missions. They’re worried he might try and come help or have a panic attack or something else bad. If there’s ever really important news, JARVIS tells it to Pepper in secret and then Pepper decides how to tell Bucky. “Okay.”

“How are you doing?” Sam asks. “Steve wants to make sure you eat lunch.”

“We’re making lunch now,” Bucky says. He’s not hungry, but he doesn’t want to disappoint Daddy or worry Pepper. “Pepper’s teaching me to make spaghetti.” Well, he knew how to make regular spaghetti already, but normal pasta makes Pepper feel sick, so this kind is made out of zucchinis and gets heated up in oil instead of boiled in water. She’s also making a sauce out of avocados instead of tomatoes like Bucky’s used to. He’s putting everything into the food processor for the sauce. Pepper has a funny machine that makes vegetables into noodles.

“Mm, that sounds good. Listen, I can’t stay on the phone long because we’ve got work to do, but we won’t be too long, all right? Steve says he loves you.”

“Does he love Bucky Bear?” Bucky asks, glancing at the bear on the counter. Bucky Bear is already sitting with his bottle of honey, because it takes him such a long time to eat.

“Of course he loves Bucky Bear. You think he’d trust him to take care of the tower otherwise? Now, can I talk to Pepper for a second?”

“’Kay.” He hands the phone over and rubs his metal fingers on Bucky Bear’s nose. The other hand has avocado on it. “Daddy loves you.”

Bucky Bear doesn’t say anything because Bucky Bear doesn’t talk while he’s eating.

Pepper doesn’t say much when she’s on the phone, just a lot of “I understand” and “Yes.” Bucky waits to turn on the food processor. Part of him feels a little better—everyone’s okay and Daddy’s thinking about him—but there’s still a nervous, sick feeling fluttering around in his tummy.

The spaghetti’s really good, though, and that kind of helps with his stomach.

*

Lucky’s walk is delayed because, right after lunch, Pepper receives a business call that lasts well over an hour. Bucky thinks she’s speaking to her company’s stockholders. The stockholders call a lot whenever Tony goes on missions. When the missions are over, and Bucky’s allowed to watch the news footage, he sees the things Iron Man gets up to and understands.

When Bucky used to work, he would take any job he could get, most of them ending with him trudging home, caked in sweat and grime. The most experience he has in the corporate world are half-remembered fragments of discussions between Pierce and other heads of HYDRA. But he thinks Pepper is good at her job. Her voice is always calm and, from the half of the conversation he hears, she’s not on the defensive.

There’s a hint of stress around her eyes, though, and that makes his stomach ache. It makes him feel not so little, and there’s a compulsion to step in, defend her. He can feel it scurrying around inside him, trying to find an out. But there’s no physical threat to confront. And Pepper won’t like it if he hovers over her shoulder.

So he excuses himself for a moment, returning with one of the thicker books he reads when he’s not in the mood to be read to. Asimov, the author is named. He used to write stories in magazines that Bucky could sometimes afford. The book was a gift from Tony after Bucky started watching _Star Trek_. He’d have an easier time reading if he weren’t half-listening to Pepper’s phone call, but he knows she worries when he’s out of sight while the Avengers are away, and while JARVIS could keep her updated, that would be annoying while she’s on the phone.

He settles onto the couch, reading about a robot named Robbie and his human friend, a little girl named Gloria. Bucky wonders if JARVIS has read these stories, and what the AI thinks of how humans used to predict robots would be. He wonders if cyborgs would follow Asimov’s three laws of robotics.

Lost in the stories, he doesn’t realize Pepper’s hung up the phone until she’s tapping his shoulder. “Hey. Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay.” Bucky closes the book. He needs a distraction anyway; he was reading about a robot trying to please everyone, and it wasn’t very happy at all. “Everything all right?”

“Nothing I can’t handle.” And despite Bucky’s reservations, he believes that. He’s seen Pepper make men twice her size sweat with nothing more than a polite smile and a business proposal. “But I could use a break from all the business mumbo-jumbo. Want to take Lucky for a walk now?”

Bucky Bear isn’t enthused about the idea, but Bucky holds him tight to keep him settled and safe from another dog-abduction. Pepper holds the leash and Happy follows behind them, grumbling about the weather and the number of people on the streets of Manhattan, and why couldn’t they walk indoors?

Bucky and Pepper nod along with his words, careful not to look at each other so they won’t laugh out loud. Then, as they’re stepping out into a crosswalk, Bucky’s phone begins to ring.

“You holding down the fort?” Natasha asks in lieu of a greeting. Natasha never gives away any information she doesn’t mean to, not through her words, her face, or even her tone. If things have gone south, it would make sense for her to be the one to check in. Then again, it could simply be that they thought her voice would calm him. He has no way of knowing.

“I delegated that to the bear,” Bucky says, lifting the stuffed animal a little so that Lucky’s sniffing can’t become too intrusive.

“Well, tell him we’re all counting on him.” He thinks Natasha’s smiling. She lets him hear that. “Wouldn’t want to come home and find out his stuffing’s gone soft.”

“I’ll pass the message along. How is everyone?”

“On the verge of strangling Stark if he makes another bad pun. He and Clint were singing the whole way out here. Surprised they didn’t trigger the Hulk, honestly.” Her tone is calm, her words almost slow. Not a hint of stress. But she would have planned it that way.

Even knowing that, he can’t help but smile. “You don’t have your iPod?”

“Have you ever _seen_ Stark when he’s in the mood for attention? He can hijack that tech in his sleep. Listen, someone’s got to keep this team in order, so I’ll have to go soon. Bruce says he’ll read to you right when we get back and Steve passes on his love, as always. I need to talk to Pepper for a minute.”

“Aren’t you going to tell me you love me?” Bucky asks. They’ve come to a stop at another intersection. Lucky’s sniffing at Bucky Bear again.

“I’ll tell you to eat your vegetables tonight.” Somehow, she makes rolling her eyes an audible act.

“Close enough.” He hands the phone to Pepper, lifting up Bucky Bear just in time to rescue him from becoming Lucky’s chew toy again.

*

“All ready?” Pepper asks.

Bucky nods, sliding under the covers that she’s pulled back. Bucky Bear’s already on his pillow; Bucky left him there when he went to get changed into his pajamas. The rest of the Bearvengers sit at the foot of his bed. Bucky’s already informed them that they’ll be helping to protect the tower while he’s asleep.

Once he’s settled, Pepper pulls the blankets back over him. “Is there anything else you need?”

“Uh-uh.” Sometimes he sleeps with a glass of water on the nightstand, because he’s scared when he wakes up from nightmares and having a drink calms him down, but he didn’t get one tonight. Bucky always, _always_ has accidents on nights when the Avengers are gone, and he doesn’t want to add to that by drinking without thinking if he can’t fall asleep. Sometimes pull-ups, even the kind for grown-ups, can’t completely hold super soldier accidents. He’s starting to think maybe he should take Tony up on his offer of making better ones.

“What would you like me to read to you?”

“Paper Bag Princess,” Bucky says, which is a book Natasha gave him. He’s in a Fox in Socks sort of mood, really, but he doesn’t think it’s fair to make anyone who isn’t a super soldier read that out loud.

Pepper is just coming to the best part of the story, where the princess outsmarts the dragon, when Bucky’s phone goes off.

“Hey, Buck,” Daddy says, and Bucky sinks into his pillow, relief washing over him.

“Hi, Daddy.”

“You doing all right?”

“Me and Pepper took Lucky for a walk and made dinner and watched Jeopardy and now she’s reading me a story.” He pulls Bucky Bear a little closer to the phone to make sure he can hear Daddy too. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, we’re all okay. I’m glad you’re having fun.”

Bucky closes his eyes. The phone is in his left hand, which doesn’t feel as much, so with his eyes shut it’s almost like Daddy’s right there.

“Listen, can’t make any promises, but we’re hoping to be home by tomorrow, okay? Soon, Bucky. I’m really proud of how patient you’re being.”

“Bucky Bear’s been watching the tower,” Bucky says, opening his eyes. He nudges Bucky Bear up again until his nose is almost pressed against the phone. “He hasn’t let anything bad get in.”

“I’m proud of Bucky Bear too,” says Daddy, and Bucky can _feel_ the happiness spreading out from Bucky Bear the way he feels sunlight through the windows on nice days. Smiling, Bucky straightens his bear’s collar. Maybe tomorrow all the other Bearvengers can officially commend Bucky Bear for taking such good care of things.

“I know it’s tough when we’re not around, Buck,” Daddy’s saying. “But try and get to sleep, all right? I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

It sounds like the call’s about to end. “Love you,” Bucky says quickly, as though he might not get the chance.

“Love you too.”

“And Bucky Bear?”

Like with Tasha, he can hear Daddy’s smile. “And Bucky Bear too.”

“And please don’t strangle Tony.”

That one makes Daddy laugh out loud. He says “Goodnight, Bucky” before Bucky gives the phone to Pepper. When she hangs up, she finishes the story. Then she makes sure the blankets are snug around him and gives both Bucky and the bear a kiss on the forehead before she has JARVIS turn off the lights.

*

Like almost always, Bucky wakes up before his alarm goes off. This time, at least, it’s only half an hour early. His hair is soaked with sweat, his heart racing fast as a hummingbird’s, but he can’t remember the dream that woke him. He lies there, breathing settling as the fear slowly ebbs. Bucky’s never sure if it’s better or worse to forget the nightmares; forgetting means there’s no images to haunt him, but without the memories he’s left with a vague dread of things he’s not even aware of.

He’s aware of being wet.

Bucky doubts he’s leaked, but there’s a cold dampness on his thighs that he can’t be sure is sweat until he sits up and verifies. He almost wants to lay back down—his doctors are always stressing the importance of staying in bed throughout his sleep schedule even if he’s wide awake—but his face grows hot at the idea and besides, the pull-up feels cold against him. He doesn’t want to wait for the itching to start.

He doesn’t want to move around by himself either, but he’s not having JARVIS wake Pepper. Not for this. He holds tight to Bucky Bear, feeling afraid of monsters whose faces he can’t remember, and feeling much littler than he did right as he woke.

The bathroom tiles are cool under his feet, and for a second he thinks of stepping into a new pull-up and retreating back to bed to play with his bears. But he needs a shower. And he never has accidents in the day.

The phone rings as Bucky’s drying his hair.

“Are you coming home?” he asks immediately.

On the other end of the line, Clint laughs a little. “Is that how you greet your favorite uncle?”

“You won’t be my favorite uncle if you don’t say you’re coming home.” Bucky feels bad the second he says it, but before he can apologize, Clint’s laughing again.

“Yeah, we are. We’ve got a little more to sort out here, but after that, we’ll come back to the tower, okay? We should be there around lunchtime.”

Bucky sinks down onto the bed, smiling. “Okay.”

“Is Pepper with you?”

He shakes his head before remembering Clint can’t see that. “No. But I can have JARVIS tell her?”

“Eh, don’t worry about it. I think Tony’s calling her.”

“Did you bring the coffee mug Daddy gave you?” Bucky asks.

“Of course I did. Never go on a mission without it.”

He glances at the bears on the foot of his bed. Apparently he shifted in his sleep, because Hawkbear is now lying face down on the blankets. Bucky sets him upright. “Did you spill it?”

Clint makes an indignant noise. “You know, kid, I _am_ capable of carrying coffee without spilling it. Especially in a spill-proof mug.”

Bucky waits quietly.

“Maybe just a little—look, I’ve got to go, but we’ll be home soon. Promise.”

“Don’t let Bruce forget he’s supposed to read to me,” Bucky says, rubbing his fingers on Hulk Bear’s foot.

There’s a little pause, but there aren’t any noises like explosions or crashes, so Bucky guesses Clint’s just distracted. “Yeah. I sure will. See you in a few hours, okay?”

“Okay.”

He finishes brushing his hair and gets dressed. Pepper hasn’t come in to ask about breakfast yet, so he goes to the bookshelf and pulls out the right fairy tale collection for Bruce to read from. Then he listens to the copy of Sleeping Beauty that Daddy recorded for him.

After that, there’s an official ceremony and Captain Ameribear presents Bucky Bear with a medal of valor for his services. The medal is actually a necktie, but it’s a great honor nonetheless. The ceremony is just concluding when JARVIS tells Bucky that Pepper would like his help making breakfast. He heads to the elevator, wondering if they can make pancakes. It’s impossible to have a bad day with pancakes.

*

Something’s not right.

The Quinjet is back. It’s been back for ten whole minutes. And right when it got there, JARVIS said that Daddy told him they’d be right up. But they aren’t.

Bucky can’t sit still. He’s supposed to be helping Pepper get lunch ready, but how can he think about setting the table when he hasn’t seen anyone in a day and they aren’t coming inside?

“They’re fine, Bucky,” says Pepper. “They’re probably just getting everything cleaned up. You know what a mess these missions can be.”

And sometimes the Quinjet comes back all covered in smoke or slime or with pieces broken. That’s true. But Bucky doesn’t really think they stop and fix up the plane right after they get home. He thinks they’re probably using that time to cover up injuries so people won’t get worried. And if they’re taking this long, someone could be really hurt.

“Here.” Pepper’s holding out a little jar. The label says it’s lavender honey. “Is Bucky Bear hungry? He can get started before the rest of us.”

Bucky Bear is sitting at Bucky’s spot at the table. He’s on top of the book that Bruce is going to read to them. “He’s not hungry. He wants to go check on everybody.”

“Oh, honey, I don’t think that’s a good i—”

But the elevator takes them right to the floor with the landing pad, so it can’t be a bad idea if JARVIS isn’t stopping them. Besides, Bucky Bear doesn’t have bad ideas. Even so, Bucky holds him a little tighter. He can’t help but think of all the bad things that could have happened to his friends. He tries to be calm like Bucky Bear, tries to brace himself for blood or guts or other things he never used to flinch at.

When the elevator opens, there isn’t any blood. There aren’t even any people. The Quinjet is still sitting on the landing pad outside and, unless all the Avengers are now invisible and also really quiet, they haven’t come out.

Bucky waves his free hand around a little, and doesn’t hit any invisible people. He decides to walk toward the doors, but very slowly, just in case his friends have all shrunk down to the size of ants.

Maybe JARVIS tells them that Bucky is there, or maybe Daddy just has a sense about these things, but before Bucky can reach the doors, Daddy’s coming out of the Quinjet. He’s not running but he’s moving fast, coming in before Bucky can go out.

“Bucky,” Daddy says, and he’s hugging him. His hugs are so good that for almost a whole minute, Bucky forgets about the rest of the Avengers, and the way Daddy’s uniform smells like soot and pennies, and the picture book sandwiched between their bodies. But Bucky Bear reminds him, and he squirms free.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” says Daddy, brushing back Bucky’s hair now that they’re not hugging anymore. “Everyone’s fine, Buck, don’t worry.”

Bucky just stares at him. In his hands, the bear suggests that he say something about HYDRA concealing information while looking very sad, but Bucky’s not going to do that. Daddy’s not like HYDRA at all. “Then why won’t you come in?”

“No one’s hurt,” Daddy promises. “Just...we have to sort something out. Then we’ll all get lunch. Promise.”

Bucky looks him up and down. Daddy doesn’t look hurt, and Bucky can tell that better than most people. He can’t remember everything about life before HYDRA, but he knows how Daddy holds himself. He knows how it looked when Daddy tried to shrug off injuries, both when he was small and during the war.

But Daddy’s not the only person who went on the mission.

“What do you have to sort out?” Bucky asks.

Daddy sighs. “It’s—”

But he doesn’t get any further than that, because then Bucky sees what it is.

The floor seems to rattle a little as the Hulk comes out of the Quinjet.

Bucky’s first thought is _He’s big._

His immediate second thought is _Not as big as I thought._

By Bucky Bear’s estimation, the Hulk is about nine feet tall, which matches with what he’s heard people say. But before he saw it, the number was kind of meaningless. Bucky had heard the Hulk was a giant, so that’s what he’d imagined. Something like _King Kong_ , a movie he almost remembers. The real Hulk would seem almost small in comparison, except the floor shakes when he moves and Bucky’s pretty sure one of the Hulk’s hands could fit around his whole head.

He’s not like Bucky’s Hulk Bear, all one solid color green. His skin is more see-through, like a person’s, all different shades. Bucky doesn’t understand how Bruce’s pants still fit him. He doesn’t understand how the Hulk _works_. Where does all the rest of him go when he’s Bruce again? And why isn’t Bruce here now? 

Bucky opens his mouth to ask those questions, but then he closes it again. The Hulk is pacing outside the way that Bucky does sometimes when he’s grown-up and restless in his therapy sessions. His chest is heaving up and down, like he’s just done a bunch of running. And then he makes an angry noise that Bucky feels in his chest almost more than he hears it.

The Hulk is scary.

Throat dry, Bucky takes a step back. He feels that hiding under a table or behind a couch would be a good idea, but there isn’t any furniture around. He feels like he should be wearing a pull-up. He feels like leaving is a good idea.

But Bucky Bear wants to observe, and Bucky’s too busy staring to move his feet anyway.

“Hey, it’s all right.” Daddy’s hands are on his shoulders, drawing him close. “He won’t hurt you, Bucky. He’s nice.”

Then why weren’t they coming in? And why were the others, filing out of the jet now, keeping such a wide distance? “How come he’s not Bruce?”

“I don’t know,” Daddy says. He takes one hand off of Bucky and runs it through his own hair. Little bits of ash drift down to his shoulders. “He always turns back once we’re done, but...I don’t know. Stress or something. We were gonna wait it out, but it seemed safer to do that here.”

Bucky wonders how much the Hulk weighs. But then, Thor’s a lot heavier than he looks and when he’s here for missions, the Quinjet doesn’t have any trouble carrying him.

Natasha’s talking to the Hulk, but Bucky can’t make out her words through the window. The Hulk makes a noise in reply that, as far as Bucky can tell, isn’t a word.

“Doesn’t he smash stuff?” Bucky asks. He doesn’t want the tower to get smashed. Almost all of his favorite people and things are in here.

“Only bad stuff,” Daddy says. His hands are both on Bucky’s shoulders again. “Don’t be scared.”

“He was supposed to read to me,” Bucky mumbles.

“He will, Buck. Give it some time.”

Bucky stares, trying to see Bruce in this big, green thing that isn’t acting like him. He squeezes Bucky Bear, who’s still too busy observing to help Bucky calm down. Bruce doesn’t get worked up like this. Bucky’s never heard him sound angry, even when an experiment goes bad or when Bruce was in the lab while Bucky was telling Reed Richards how the chair had worked. He doesn’t like it when people get mad. Even if they’re not mad at him, even if he’s not going to be punished, it’s still scary. And it’s sad, too, when it’s someone he cares about. He cares about Bruce, even when he’s big and green and good at smashing things.

Stress, Daddy had said. Bruce might be stuck this way because of stress. Bruce doesn’t talk a lot about what he did before the Avengers, at least not to Bucky. All Bucky knows are the little bits and pieces that Bruce tells him. He’s never pressed for any more because he worries about making Bruce upset or mad at him. So he doesn’t know a whole lot. But he knows that the Hulk got in trouble with the government kind of like the Winter Soldier did, and he knows that Bruce had a friend who helped him when the government wanted to lock him up. That friend isn’t one of the Avengers, not as far as Bucky knows. And he can’t remember anyone ever coming to the tower to visit Bruce.

Maybe Bruce’s friend got locked up for helping him. Or maybe his friend died. Bucky thinks of shooting Daddy on the helicarrier. He thinks of the night with the knives in his bedroom. His eyes feel hot. Even if Bruce’s friend is still alive, even if the Hulk didn’t hurt them, it’s still not fair that Bruce doesn’t see that person anymore. It’s not fair that people are mad at him for things that he couldn’t help.

He knows what it’s like to be angry. To get so mad that it’s hard not to scream or cry or throw things. Sometimes, when Bucky thinks about the past while he’s too tired to be good, he just wants to break _everything_. To curl his metal hand around something until it’s ground up into tiny little splinters. Sometimes he wants to yank his whole arm off, and then maybe people will see something other than a monster when they look at him. But probably not. That’s all he sees whenever he looks in the mirror.

And Bucky’s smashed stuff too, when he’s mad enough. He doesn’t break buildings, but a long time ago, he can remember hitting Bucky Bear with a shoe. He can’t remember why. It must have been really early in his time at the tower, before he had doctors to talk to or pictures to color. Before he would cook with Pepper or play with Tony’s robots or let Bruce read to him.

Bruce lets Bucky sit on blankets when he reads to him. He always tilts the book so that Bucky can see the pictures and gives him cups of tea.

Bucky doesn’t think the Hulk could hold a teacup very well. Even if it didn’t break, it probably wouldn’t hold enough to satisfy him.

Without thinking, Bucky’s wriggling free of Steve’s hold on his shoulders, racing toward the doors.

The doors open outward. Bucky thinks that’s a safety thing, so people won’t get stuck inside if everybody runs and pushes up against the doors to get out. He doesn’t remember where he heard that. It’s not important now. What is important is that the doors don’t open in, because if he had to stop to pull one back, then Daddy would grab him.

But the doors open out, so Daddy’s hand closes on empty air as Bucky runs through.

For a second he stands frozen, surprised that JARVIS didn’t lock the doors before he could reach them. Then he stands there scared, because nine feet looks a lot bigger now that he’s so close.

The Hulk isn’t looking at him, but everybody else is. They look like they don’t know if he’ll cry or attack. Bucky Bear says that the Hulk’s lack of notice is to their advantage, and they can retreat unnoticed, but then Steve is behind him again, grabbing his arm to lead him back, and then the Hulk _does_ look.

Daddy said the Hulk wouldn’t hurt them. Daddy’s just being overprotective. He said the Hulk only smashes bad things, and Bruce doesn’t think that Bucky’s a bad thing.

Maybe the Hulk does.

The Hulk breathes out and it’s a loud, mad sound, like a bull. It rattles Bucky’s ribs and where his arm joins on and he can’t help the whimper that slips out. It’s quiet. Bucky Bear thinks they should run rather than fight because, even with Bucky’s advanced body, the damage could be catastrophic.

“Easy, big guy,” Tony says. He’s still in his suit. He can fly very fast, but the Hulk could swat him like a bug if he wanted. “That’s Bucky. He thinks you’re the best scientist ever, remember?”

“He’s a little kid,” Clint adds. “Bruce tucks him into his cot at the lab all the time.”

Bucky doesn’t see any sign of recognition in the Hulk’s face. But his eyes—they look like Bruce’s. A lot angrier than Bruce has ever looked, but still.

He squeezes Bucky Bear again, thinking of the medal of valor from this morning. He needs to be brave too. “You were gonna read to me,” he says, but he doesn’t lift the book up. When Bucky’s scared or mad, he doesn’t like sudden movements.

The Hulk doesn’t say anything, just breathes out again. It’s not as loud this time.

“You said you’d read to me when you got back,” Bucky says. “I had the story picked out and everything.”

And then he does talk. “STORY?” The Hulk’s voice is even louder than his breathing.

Bucky’s legs shake a little. He tries to think of when Daddy first found him to bring him to the tower. He was probably scary to talk to then, too. Slowly, very slowly, he slides the picture book out from behind Bucky Bear and holds it up. “See? You were gonna read this.”

The Hulk comes closer and Daddy’s grip on Bucky’s arm goes really tight. Again, the ground shakes with every step he takes. He doesn’t come right up to Bucky, but stops in front of him, bending down to look at the cover. The look on his face is more confused than annoyed now.

Can the Hulk read? Bruce doesn’t like to talk a lot about what he calls ‘The Other Guy,’ and from what Bucky’s seen when he’s allowed to watch news coverage, the Hulk seems to mostly break stuff. Maybe he can’t read and Bucky nagging him about a story is just going to make him more angry.

And the Hulk is straightening up, looking mad and frustrated again, when Bucky speaks. “I could read it to you.”

Bucky knows how to read. He’s a lot better at it when he’s bigger, because he knows that five year olds aren’t supposed to read as well as grown-ups, but he can read. Especially if it’s a story he already knows. And he knows Beauty and the Beast, even if it’s a little different from the movie when it’s written down.

“READ?” says the Hulk, and Bucky’s pretty sure it’s a question.

“Do you want me to read to you?” Reading would mean getting really close to make sure that the Hulk can see all the pictures. Bucky’s not sure that he wants to do that. But Bruce reads to him all the time and doesn’t stay away even when Bucky’s mad or upset. He used to get upset a lot when he first came to the tower. He used to yell and throw things. Bruce didn’t hide from him. And this is still Bruce, mostly. Just bigger. And greener.

The Hulk is bending down again. “READ.” Bucky can’t tell if that’s a yes or a no.

His hands are shaky around the book, and his tummy still feels all fluttery and sick. Strangers, even ones who aren’t really strangers, make him nervous. Angry people make him nervous too. And he really doesn’t like heights. The asset could ignore these things, but he isn’t the asset now.

“If—if you want me to read, we should go inside,” Bucky says. After he says it, the Hulk looks at the doors.

“Bucky,” Daddy says, “I don’t think that’s the best—”

“BOY READ,” the Hulk roars, and Daddy doesn’t argue.

Everybody moves very carefully. Clint and Natasha hold open the doors, but Tony, Daddy, and Bucky go in before the Hulk. Bucky Bear says the Hulk probably doesn’t like having people behind him where he can’t see. Bucky understands that. He settles onto the floor and motions for the Hulk to sit on his left side, because those are the pages with the pictures. The Hulk is taller and Bucky tilts the book to try and be sure that he can see the pages too.

“The story’s called Beauty and the Beast,” Bucky says. He pretends not to see the big green man out of the corner of his eye or the worried look on Daddy’s face. Bruce won’t hurt him. The Hulk: he’s kind of like another kid, right? Bucky never fights with Tasha. So it’s fine. He puts his finger on the page, tapping each word as he reads to keep track. He tries to have the right feelings in his voice for each word. “There was once a very rich mer-chant...”

He’s about halfway down the first page when he gets stuck. “Sev-er-al em...uh, em-eye...em-ee...”

Clint leans over to help, but the Hulk makes an annoyed sound and waves him away. Bucky holds a little tighter to the book, tries to sound it out. “Several em-ee-nent? Eminent. Um. Several eminent merchants made their ad-dresses.”

Bucky stops then, because he doesn’t think he’s doing a very good job of reading. He glances around. Maybe he can give the book to Daddy. Daddy’s good at reading and voices, and it would probably be less annoying if he—

But then the Hulk growls. It’s not a mad growl. He sounds bored. “GO ON.”

“’Kay. Several eminent merchants made their addresses to them, but the two el-dest said they would never marry unless...”

He gets stuck on a few more words—Bucky’s not quite sure what ‘obliging’ means—but he gets to the end of the page without any other big stops. When he turns the page and starts the next, he must forget about holding the book at the right angle, because suddenly there are big green hands on his waist and he’s being pulled onto the Hulk’s lap.

Bucky tenses up for a second, but before he can get scared it occurs to him: he can sit on the Hulk’s lap. He sits on other people’s laps too—he sat on his last daddy’s all the time—but never so comfortably. He’s never fit on anybody else, because he’s too big whatever age he is. It’s different. It’s nice.

So before Daddy can get too worried again, Bucky leans back against the Hulk, lets him tilt the book to where he wants it, and goes on reading.

The Hulk isn’t a quiet listener. He doesn’t speak in words, but while everyone else is sitting in silence, he reacts. The Hulk growls a little when the Beast first shows up in the story, and Bucky’s surprised to find that this time, the growling doesn’t scare him at all. He thinks of the first time that he watched _Sleeping Beauty_ , thinks of how he’d gone so stiff that his metal arm made whirring noises. The Hulk’s a lot like Bucky when Bucky’s too worked up to talk.

When the Beast says the merchant can live if one of his daughters dies in his place, the Hulk sort of gasps. When the Beast decides to let Beauty live, Bucky’s pretty sure he sighs in relief. He can’t place the noise that the Hulk makes when the Beast calls himself an ugly monster. Bucky decides he likes reading for the Hulk. He’s never seen anybody react to fairy tales like they’ve never heard them before.

“...and their hap-pi-ness, as it was founded on vir-tue, was complete,” Bucky finishes, and the Hulk makes a noise that sounds happy to Bucky. He smiles, starting to get up, but there are hands on his waist again, pulling him down. He tilts his head back to meet the Hulk’s eyes, confused.

“MORE STORY,” says the Hulk.

Bucky nods, smiling. He notices, before he turns his attention back to the book, that everybody else is smiling too. Everything they were scared the Hulk would do if he was in the tower, if he was stressed, he hasn’t. He’s just their friend again. He’s an Avenger, and Avengers don’t do bad things.

The next story in the book is The Gingerbread Man, and the words in that are a lot easier. By the third time Bucky reads “Run, run, as fast as you can! You can’t catch me, I’m the Gingerbread Man!” the Hulk joins in with a “RUN RUN!”

When Bucky gets to the Gingerbread Man riding the fox across the river, something _shifts._

He doesn’t fit on the Hulk’s lap anymore. And when Bucky looks down, the legs crossed beneath his own aren’t green.

Bucky turns his head. Bruce looks tired, and he’s not sure if that’s how Bruce always looks once he’s done being the Hulk, or if whatever made him stay the Hulk in the first place is making him sleepy. He doesn’t have a shirt and his hair is kind of messy, but he’s still smiling. Bucky isn’t sure if he should get off of Bruce or not. He must be a lot heavier for Bruce to hold.

“Are you okay?” Bucky asks, and Bruce reaches out to ruffle Bucky’s hair.

“I’m fine,” he says, smiling, and then he looks away at the rest of the grown-ups. “I’m fine,” he repeats, and nobody argues. Then he’s looking at Bucky again. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Bucky mumbles. He doesn’t feel like he’s done much of anything, but he’s not going to be impolite and he’s definitely not going to argue with Bruce.

“Well?” Bruce asks, and so Bucky starts to get up. But this time, the hands on his waist are Bruce’s.

Bucky settles back down, confused.

“Aren’t you going to finish the story?” Bruce asks.

Bucky’s tummy is kind of rumbly and he knows that Bucky Bear wants his honey, but the story’s almost over. Anyway, Bruce reads to him all the time, so it’s only fair. Especially today. “Will you read to me after lunch?” he asks, opening the book back up wide.

“Of course I will.” Bruce hasn’t let go of Bucky; he’s still hugging him around the middle. “As soon as we’re done, just let me know what story you want to hear.”

Bucky nods. It takes him a few seconds, scanning the page and following the words with his fingers, before he can find the place where he’d stopped. “A sly and hungry fox saw the Gingerbread Man and said, ‘Jump on my back and I’ll take you across the river.’”

So the Gingerbread Man does. Halfway across the river, the fox flips the Gingerbread Man into his mouth and eats him up. Bucky snaps the book shut in time with the ending, and everybody says what a good job he did reading. Then Bruce takes his hand and Natasha picks up Bucky Bear, and everybody goes to the elevator to get lunch.

**Author's Note:**

> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/152680774@N07/35818523341/in/dateposted-public/)
> 
> This fantastic illustration of Bucky Bear's worst day ever was created by the wonderful [Feanor_in_leather_pants](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feanor_in_leather_pants/pseuds/Feanor_in_leather_pants), and provided the inspiration for Bucky Bear and Lucky's interactions within this story.
> 
> The Asimov book that Bucky is reading is _I, Robot_ , and specifically the stories "Robbie" and "Liar!" within it. The first, I think he'd enjoy quite a lot. The second, not so much.
> 
> [ _The Paper Bag Princess_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6iF551Tzy1w), by Robert Munsch, is one of the greatest children's books of all time. It's officially endorsed by the National Organization for Women, that's how awesome it is.
> 
> [ _Fox in Socks_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIizqZ0mvIo) is a Dr. Seuss book entirely consisting of tongue twisters.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Monster Theory](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4157574) by [barbaricyawp](https://archiveofourown.org/users/barbaricyawp/pseuds/barbaricyawp)




End file.
